Now, why do I really need the mother for? – Three Minutes Series

Published from “Three Minutes” series written by A.S.Rajagopalan Swami of Ohio.

tirumagaL kETTu avanai
kETpittu
tan aDiyAr aDaiya tAn aDaindu
kuRai nIkki niRai Akki
tuRaiyena
paRai nOkka nam iRaiyin
maRaiyE
(ugattin sugam – 5)

tirumagaL kETTu = shrI listens (to our
complaints)
avanai kETpittu = (and) makes Him to
listen
tan aDiyAr aDaiya = Her devotees reach
her
tAn aDaindu = (and) She reaches Him
kuRai nIkki = (She) removes all the
flaws
niRai Akki = (and) make complete and
auspicious
tuRaiyena = (thus she) forms a
means/channel
paRai nOkka = for (our) objective of
mokSham
nam iRaiyin = our Lord (said so in )
maRaiyE = scripts, pramANam-s

This verse is from aDiyEn’s composition on the details of dvaya mantra (mantra for total unconditional surrender) titled as ugattin sugam (dvayam divyam). shrI, the inseparable consort of shrIman nArAyaNa, has been cherished for Her amazing motherly qualities by AzhvAr-s and AcArya-s. This particular verse explains the six meanings of shrI as instructed in pA~ncarAtra shAstram

The Lord is all powerful and has infinite noble qualities, but the individual soul (cetana) is afraid of His unique supreme quality called independence. Those who want to surrender to Him are scared of His unlimited freedom, perceived dictatorship, and His ability to possibly throw them out and shut the door. This is like a child who sneaks through the back door and reveals the bad grade to the mother rather than the father, in hope that she will cool down the father’s anger. Similarly, individual souls surrender to lakShmI first.

Why does the child go to the mother? The child definitely knows that she will never be angry and will support him, regardless of the situation; the child holds an enormous trust in Her compassion (vAtsalyam) and influence (vAllabhyam) in persuading the father. Undoubtedly, the Lord Himself is very kind and sympathetic. But He has the power and responsibility of awarding the punishment. But lakShmI, the tAyAr, is full of patience (kShamA) and completely void of harshness or punishment.

1. shrI: Listens to the individual’s complaint

2. shrI: In turn, She makes the Lord to listen to these

3. shrI: Has been the sole refuge for those who are scared of the Lord’s anger

4. shrI: Goes and takes refuge to the Lord for this individual.

5. shrI: Blesses everyone and removes all the bad

6. shrI: Awards and blesses with complete and auspicious qualities.

Let us compare these with an everyday example. When the kids comes home with the bad grade,

1. The Mother will listen to all the make-believe reasons kid tells as to why he got the bad grade. She knows the truth, yet listens patiently in order to not hurt his feelings; after all, he is already hurt by bad grade. She never refuses to listen or says, “I don’t care, it’s between you and your father”.

2. She assures the kid, stating, “Don’t worry, go eat your food and play, I will take care of your father, everything will be fine”.

3. She doesn’t let the child’s words enter in one ear and exit out the other. Rather, she goes to the father and forces him to listen. She does not  accept the father’s excuses.

4. Upon hearing this, the father’s anger shoots up, “I knew the first time when I looked at his friends, this would happen. We are too easy with our kids. He needs proper punishment.” She cools him by saying, “Come on, spare him, he is our kid. If we are not sympathetic, where else would he go to? Look at others, most of them are worse than him and don’t even care. At least our kid is sensible and realizes now. If you are not nice now, he will never come back to us. Besides, what grade did you receive when you were a kid?”

5. She returns to the kid and tells, “Don’t be stiff-necked. Apologize to your dad. Be honest and feel sorry for your mistake, otherwise your apology is meaningless and that will make dad more angry”

6. She also says, “I will try to find a tutor for extra coaching so that you can do better; I also will to talk to the teacher to sort your situation out.”

Like the mother here, lakShmI is the inevitable recommender for us to take us to Him. After all, it is the same Ishvara tattvam doing both the recommendation and approval. As a recommender, she is lakShmI and as an approver, He is shrIman nArAyaNa.

What we learn from here:

1. Kids and their future is the responsibility of both parents.

2. Never allow both parents to simultaneously get angry on the kid. The kid may get lost forever.

3. Don’t hold grudges on the past action and results. Be compassionate and accept their apology, regardless of the level of the child’s concern. Besides, see if you had contributed to the situation, to aid in preventing the same action to happen again.

4. Think how you can help in the future – in terms of friends, teacher, school, environment, extra coaching, providing good food, encouragement, religious feeling etc.

5. Anyone can be good from today. Nothing is preventing you

If I were drowned in the deepest sea, Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine I know whose tears would come down to me, Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine

(Nothing is more deeper than samsAra, the birth/death cycle)